January Wrap-Up

Totals for January
(Should be noted that I completely bailed on my long run for today - 10mi. Worthless, I am. Should start out Feb well though)

Run - 45.55mi
Swim - 32,150M

No bike time. Some yoga & core work in there. Look for that to ramp up a bit in Feb. simply due to load shifting. Should be logging more running and throwing in some bike in the coming weeks. But I'm not displeased with Jan. Swimming is coming along and long runs feel productive & strong.

Define pathetic...

So I'm feeling fairly pathetic this evening. I'm sitting at home - have been most of the night - by myself watching a dog show. Not the movie "Best in Show", mind you, but the real AKC Eukanuba National Championship. Currently a super cute Basset Hound on the table named Noodles. I get a kick out of dog shows, I really like dogs.

I was out of the house earlier today with a bit of a shopping excursion and a kid's hockey game. I even ran out for a few minutes and picked up takeout sushi. So I'm not a total loser.

But wow...what a Saturday night. I'm feeling a bit pathetic.

(And yes, asshole, if saying that means I'm having a pity party then I suppose I'm ok with it. And if you were kidding, you should have known better.)

Ugh

Put in 5.5 on the treadmill.
Walk 5min WU
Walk 1min every 20
Walk 4min CD

Haven't drank much water throughout the day (being home) so I'm not exactly properly hydrated. Finished the run, massive headache working. Has only continued to get worse (about an hour) to the point where I'm nauseous. Figuring not having drank as much water as normal, not having had any caffeine (though I only have a small amount/day I'm fairly regular with it) and not having done much activity all day is what's at the root of the headache, but not used to these having the nausea. Could possibly be signaling that it's not going to go away so easily....

Going to try to get through a shower and get to sleep. Hoping this goes away on it's own. I hate having these headaches pop up like this......not thinking I'm going to make it through the shower w/o puking.

Snow Day...

I'm hunkered down and thinking about a nap....it's 11:23a. What is it about massive amounts of snow that makes people not really want to move at all? (Except the idiots that think because they have a SUV w/4WD they're invincible - you're all idiots) Seriously....I woke up at 8:30 and am thinking about sleeping again. That's a sad state of affairs.

I'm monitoring emails and voicemails and cell phones, so I'm technically working...but there's not much "work" that I'm interested in at the moment. Spent a few minutes outside earlier playing with the mutts (working hard).

Anyway, one of the largest single-day snows in Indiana's history - top 6 or something - so it's a fairly good day to lock down on the couch with the laptop and just do the basics. There's about 10 - 11" of snow outside, I have three dogs within ten feet of me all sound asleep and I'm fairly warm, life is pretty good, eh?

Swim

Achy shoulders. Feels out of whack but maybe just tired.

400 WU
4x100 K on 2:30 Desc.
3x100 Pull on 2:00 Desc.
2x100 IM Dr on 2:00
3x Set:

• 3x100 1x100 on 2:30 K
• 6x50 on :50 (90%)
• 100 EZ on 2:00
• 1-Free,2-Back,3-Fly/Bk

4x100 on 2:00 1,3 - Catch-up 2,4 - Swim
3200 Total

Fuzzy sweaters...

....they are cute on the hanger. They are warm. They are functional. They are on sale if you're good. They even may look cute on, but they are a complete and total pain in the ass. I am spewing all of these blue-green fuzzballs into the air and basically covering everything I touch in said fuzz too! I've even got the crap in my eyes! I know it gets better, you just have to wear the sweater a few times, wash it a few times, yada yada yada...but I might lose my mind between now and then!

This damn sweater that you see on the right is currently kililng me. I got a great deal on the thing - which TOTALLY makes it worth it - and it looks pretty good and is actually comfy (minus a slight itching, remedied by a comfy shirt under - should be ok once washed). SO I'm a winner, but I'm dying....I've currently got fuzz stuck in my throat.

Friday's sweater was dark green, I was pulling green fuzzballs off my desk chair (with my white blazer - while other people were picking them off of me) all day long yesterday. I must try to remember this - the fuzz-shedding - that's going on now when choosing tomorrow.

I'm so ready for summer. We're expected to drop about 5 - 7 in. of snow over the rest of the day and tonight. We got robbed last night, though, and got nothing. The one time living further north was beneficial. As it's already gnarly-looking outside and people are already leaving and driving like idiots...I don't hold out as much faith for the evening rush hour. I've decided to stick around and try to go to swim practice, might as well let the rest of the idiots go home early.

Iceberg Running

I'm still chilly, so this will be short. Plus I'm going to go buy a pair of long underwear and get dinner. I'm not entirely sure that my feet will get warm again for a few hours, so ok.

We chose to run outside today - I'm not entirely sure what made me think that would be ok. I didn't really look at the temp or the weather, just knew I wanted to run and get out of the house. And so we did.

And I froze.

I didn't notice the cold too much until we were really far into the run. My belly got cold (wasn't wearing a form-fitting base layer) and my chin got cold...my hips were the last thing that I noticed were numb. When we got back, Tanya commented that my jacket was soaked through (proof of the wicking power of the Pearl shirt and the jacket) which was just gross.

My legs got tight and started to hurt around mile 7-8. But nothing unmanageable. Went 10.5mi total - longest run since Silverman. Took 1:54, so we weren't pushing too terribly hard, especially since we were running on about 1/2in. of snow.

Anyway....I got way too cold. It didn't really sink in until I got home - red skin, started itching - I'm used to all that from cycling and from when I was kid and it wasn't REALLY sledding until you were too cold to move. I was having major issues though...couldn't feel parts, WAY redder than i thought I should be and then the itching started. I try to not itch - I've put holes in my skin before. So...I jumped in the shower fairly quickly and ripped through the entire volume of hot water. Somehow started shivering uncontrollably and knew I was still way too cold. Threw on layers of fleece and a hoodie and jumped into bed under as many covers as possible. Took my temp and was shocked to read 96.6F. Hunkered down and finally started to get warm within about 30 minutes.

Stupid. I enjoyed the run, but need to figure out how to stay warmer and what I'm doing wrong. Until then, my limit may go back to about 20 - 25 degrees.

One-Hour Postal Swim

Not quite as painful as a cold, long, fast run...but infinitely more boring. Pretty much like being the ping-pong ball between the walls in some evil, cosmic game. The black line doesn't really move, it becomes impossible to keep counting and I literally ran out of things to think about. I only choked once - which was absolutely hilarious - and only had a fairly short section in the middle where all swimming form when completely out the window. I'm pretty sure that during that time I had more wiggle in my hips than a hula dancer. My brain quit cooperating with my shoulders which entirely quit cooperating with my hips and head.

Anyway, one hour, only put one foot down to cough once, swam 4250 yards. That's just over the full IM distance, but includes walls and no wetsuit. So...whatever. I think that I could hit swimming goals as long as this form and these lungs show up to the game. These shoulders, on the other hand, aren't so happy and would like to be left at home. They have also expressly requested ice to be ready if I plan to do anything like that again...

All of the splits are fairly consistent around :42. I start and end with :39, and have a lot of :41 and :43 in there....slowest was about :47 (cap, coughing, or swimsuit fixing).

I'm thrilled overall - think with some adequate sleep and nutrition and consistent prep I can drop some more time (weight) and continue improvement. Now...ice, ice cream and freaking sleep.

What I'm bitching about this morning...

You know when you sign up for something or agree to do something (or in some cases get the decree of God from Corporate to do something) and you think it's going to be one thing, not too tough, not overly demanding, then you get into it and the damn project just keeps mushrooming out into this bigger, more ominous, more all-consuming time suck??

Like the bank commercials.....I'm there.

I'm seemingly never going to get this done. 21 plans, 21 locations....for dental, for medical, only 19 for vision, and just a few less for life, disability and voluntary life......each needs a different document loaded...for each plan, at least location. See why I'm bitching??

I DID have a date tonight....looks like my date might now be this computer....

And for tonight's torture....

Swim workout with the Master's folk @ Healthplex. Noah finally back in the water...pushing hard. Fairly boring-feeling workout, long rest, long intervals. Not really pushing myself too hard. Stroke is still kind of jacked up, especially when swimming short distances. Longer distances (200+) allow me to stretch out and feel the stroke mechanics - don't think I'm built to be a sprinter. And I don't like drills that make me all cattywompus - like one-armed swimming. They jack up my rotation to one side....anyway....figure it was probably good to keep things fairly short, my body is pretty wasted tired.

Tomorrow's my first day off since last Wednesday (if you count yoga, which was tough, last Friday). My shoulders and knees will be thankful. And I think Dan and I are actually going out on a date...wish sushi...holy cow.

400WU
3x100 on 2:30 Dr Cycle (3Count, one-Arm, Fist/Catchup,Swim)
12x25 on :35 K (EZ/H, H/EZ)
3x(
200 on 4:00 (25/75)
200 on 4:00 (25/50/25)
100 on 2:00 ALL OUT
R :10 w/in 200
R 1:00 b/w sets)
400 WD
3100 Total

Thoughts: anaerobic stroke (not sure where in this I was supposed to be anaerobic outside of the 100's, but it all felt ok)

One hour Postal coming up on Saturday, 9 mi run on Sunday. Ugh. I'm not sure I'm ever going to be warm again....

Running with Fever...

So if I were to say "tempo run, sore throat, extremely low-grade fever," to you, what would you say in return?

My guess would be it'd include things like, "Day off, stupid, no tempo, easy, fluids, sleep," and other words like that....your response would most likely not include "fast, steady," or anything else regarding me actually doing the workout. But workout I did.

I know it was stupid, give it up now. I cut .5 off of the workout, went fairly easy and didn't feel bad. I got a little warm and my HR was a bit high at the end of the intervals, but dropped like a rock, which is a good sign. Was normalized within 5 minutes of walking.

WU - 1 mile (couple minutes walking, rest @5.5mph pace)
Tempo - 1600M @ 6.5mph, .5mi jog b/w
CD - 1 mile, walk last .3mi (continue walking another minute or two)
Total: 50:00, 4.55mi.

Felt pretty good while running, nothing too intense. Second interval, last .5 was a bit warm and breathing heavy, but still well within range. Cool-down felt good and no pain while running. Left PF sore afterwards - ice bottle @ house. Fluids and going to bed ASAP.

Swimming with Schleps

Just a quick note regarding Tuesday night's swim...it sucked. It was hard (which is good) and I suffered (which is also good - but my own fault). Not enough sleep the night before, poor nutrition throughout the day, not enough water....I can keep going. But a distance workout in the pool....how I love thee.

It would appear that distance workouts to others mean the opportunity to slack off and not have to "try" so hard to make the intervals because they're allowed to shorten the distance swam if they can't make the interval....I, being of uber-competitive nature, do not miss intervals unless it is absolutely necessary.

It was further discovered that I was the only one swimming the distances (or in a couple cases my best guess of the distances as I'm pretty sure I swam an extra 50yds at least once - or three times). Every time I finished a "set", we left on the next "top"....so I'm not positive I was making the 12min intervals, but I do know I wasn't getting more than 1:00 rest. And for the schmucks that were "done" while I still had 100yds left....you should have been swimming further. And that's where I started to get irritated.

I totally understand people not being able to make intervals - I really do! I'm also aware that I'm an above-average swimmer and thus more likely to make certain intervals. I'm also acutely aware of my abilities in distance swimming, I'm consistent as the damn alarm clock and can comfortably hold the same tough speed for LOOOOOOOONG times, but make me go short and fast and I become a bit squirrely.

Anyway, I do understand not making times due to ability. But I expect everyone to be suffering on the same level of suffer in the pool. When I'm out front by more than 2 body lengths AT THE FIRST TURN, your ass needs to push harder. So, the workout was run on when I finished the 800, since I was apparently swimming the furthest. I'm ok with that, too, because I'm going to go ahead and have faith that we were all suffering while we were swimming - regardless of the amount of rest. (But I'm also patting myself on the back and saying I got the most out of the workout....schlepping bastards.)

400 WU
800 on 12:00 - even pace (works out to 1:30/100)
800 on 12:00 - 300/200/300 R :05 b/w
800 on 12:00 - 400/400 R :10 b/w
800 on 12:00 - 200/400/200 R :05 b/w
800 on 12:00 - 4x200 R :05 b/w
200 CD
4600 yds total

Haven't swam that much in one sitting since high school. Good burn. 1:10 total time....maybe 1:15. There was no horsing around. 1 hour postal swim this weekend...shooting for just shy of 2.4....maybe. Intending to break it down into 20min sections just for sanity to know where I'm at....would be nice to keep some hydration in there, too. Will be nice to not count. 5mi tempo run tonight (wed) - maybe a bit of core/strength work. Gross.

ATTENTION: New Year's Resolution-ers

Take note: I'm ready for you leave the gym. You've lost your novelty, you're no longer entertaining. I'm ready for you to go back to your prime-time television and get off the treadmill/pool/bosu/ball that I'm wanting to use. I'm definitely ready for you to quit looking at me like I'M the one that is out of place.

Don't get me wrong, I appreciate what you're trying to do and would be proud if you stuck with it. You've got great goals there, big guy, and goals are important. But here's the deal - I do this athletic thing 11 months out of the year (10 apparently when there's an Ironman, but I even had a running race thrown in during that time....) and I consider myself potentially a bit higher on the food chain for the treadmills. I'm willing to run outside in 35 degrees, I understand that I will probably puke during a competition at some point during the year, and I will be doing my damndest to bring home some hardware again (yes, it's a loosely held term..hardware for 3rd in an age group of 4 still counts, damnit). So while you think the treadmill is cute and you'll walk your 30 minutes while you read Tolstoy or Cosmo and wear your Hollister or Old Navy t-shirt with semi-perfect makeup and the cute little hair-thingy, I think it's an implement of torture and would much rather run down 146th St or pretty much do anything but run on that bastard. But here's the deal: in May I will be running a marathon, you will have long forgotten about your New Year's Resolution to lose 10 lbs and will have gleefully returned to American Idol, Dancing with the Stars, Friday Night Lights, or whatever else punches your buttons.

So please, do those of us that HAVE to do this thing at the gym almost every night while there's snow on the ground and we dream of getting outside again a huge favor and just tuck it in already. I know this sounds pompous and I'm going to offend someone. Get over that, too.

I do appreciate what you're doing, I really do, and I would like for you to stick with it, but I much more would just appreciate being able to get in, get my run done and get out without a fuss.

You: Come to the gym looking semi-perfect, cute little matchy-matchy outfit, your brand spankin' new shoes, white socks, hair and makeup just so. You get on the treadmill or the stationary bike for 20 minutes or so with your magazine or your book and you putter. You don't sweat (that much), you don't look like you're in pain, you don't look like you work that hard. You then putz around with some of the machines, make a bit of a show about stretching (while fixing your hair, makeup and matchy-matchy) and possibly doing some ill-techniqued crunches or pushups. You then proceed back into the locker room to make sure everything is just so, possibly spend some time talking to the "hottie" on the bench press or the sales guy that's just "de-lish" - what better place to pick up someone, after all.....You then, feeling totally justified, grab a hamburger or ice cream on the way home, hair still just-so and matchy-matchy looking totally fashionista.

Me: I wander into the gym looking fairly miserable. I wear sweatpants with bike grease on them, a sweatshirt that could smuggle immigrant children, a 'boggan pulled down to my eyes and carry my backpack from my last race (which could also smuggle the immigrant children's worldly belongings). I go directly to a random locker (and probably 3 more finding people's stuff stashed in them without being locked....) strip off said sweats, grab the headband and the water bottle (assuming I've remembered to wash it and it hasn't molded) and the little towel I use to mop up sweat. I proceed to treadmill, and spend my warm up time walking getting funny looks. I then realize that my running shorts are a garish teal and my running shirt is orange and green. I don't have makeup on (or if I do and have forgotten to get it off my face I try to mop it up with aforementioned towel), my hair is all sorts of outta whack - but pulled ruthlessly back into the ponytail from hell. I run, I sweat. If you can't look at me and tell that I'm in pain and NOT having fun, I should run faster. I stand on the stupid machine longer than 2 cycles of people around me, I occasionally dance or whistle with my iPod. And yes, I can text and run at the same time....Hangup your phone - you'll see Husband in 30 minutes when you're done and home again. After an interminable amount of suffering, I crank the speed back down and walk - checking my heartrate about once a minute. It plumments from "Call the Paramedics" high to reasonable in about 2 minutes and I start feeling human again. I've usually launched the iPod at least once by now and shut off the treadmill accidently once as well. I then take my chubby butt down to the mats area to work on some core work. Yes, Bosu Barbie, you can do a gazillion pushups on your knees and a thousand little piddly crunches. And you're still not sweating. Aren't you cute? I suffer through 5 - 15 minutes of torturous core exercises and some yoga stretches and retreat back to my sweatpants and away. I grab veggies when I get home, feed the dogs and collapse miserably into the couch - showering only after I've warmed up from hypothermic temperatures and hauling my butt to bed. I will be back tomorrow....

Running...

Worthless most of the day. Panera for lunch and a computer fix, then to the gym.

Suffered through 7.5 total. Got 3mi. in at 5.5mph/35min. (incl a 5min WU) and had to bail for a little bit on massive stomach pain. Back at it a few minutes later to the tune of 4 mi. straight at 5.5 (one small walk break at 30min.). Walked .5 to cool down and relax a bit. Didn't really feel great through most of it, legs achy and super tired at the end.

Did some core work afterwards - putting in my time, damnit.
3x:30 Bosu planks
3x10 Prone Pike Press
3x:30 Bosu plank

Earned the trip to the store and the chocolate milk, that's for sure. Need to do some analysis on the training plan and the days of running. Might really need to switch the long run to Saturday to keep a rest day between it and the Monday run. We'll see how tomorrow's 3 miler goes. I also need to get my butt on a bike....running and swimming fitness is great, but I'm going to have to ride a bike at some point.....

Saying Goodbye

Very pretty prayer service for Gfell on Saturday afternoon. Beautiful doves released at end. (Note to self: do a search at some point on how they do that) Touching words by his father, wonderful show of solidarity, brotherhood and support from many Chi Phis. Good to see people I haven't seen in a long time and reconnect and share memories and thoughts. Having people together that don't understand helps everyone feel a bit better.

I think the concensus is to keep the two Kevins separate. The one we all knew, loved and will miss, and the one that we're mad at, don't undersatnd and don't like. I'm ok with that. Ben summed it up very well to me: "I don't enjoy doing pointless things. This feels very, very pointless to me." None of us had to be there. But all of us had to be there. The love was impressive, the goodbye sad and final. He will be missed by many, but it helps us all to know that we are not alone.

The lesson Kevin taught us all: don't let go, don't lose touch, don't be afraid and don't be alone.

Best: the comfort of the living, Dan's arm to keep me from falling, being totally cool with taco bell at 2a and Blue Moon on an icy night.
Worst: Saying Goodbye too early.

Swimming Amongst Icebergs...

When it's that cold outside (somewhere around 5 degrees), you wonder just what in the hell you're thinking when you wake up pre-dawn to go swim in a pool that you know is going to be cold and do a workout that you know is going to be hard.

You also start to wonder why you didn't go to bed earlier, why the dogs are way bigger pains in the ass in the morning than at night, and just what makes "wussing out" so much easier. You also start to think about the hell you'll get if you don't do something you said you'd do, and how little you're going to feel like doing the rest of the day once you attend a funeral.

That was my Saturday morning. Get up way too early, go to way too cold pool, suffer way too many yards knowing the afternoon holds a way too painful event. The bright spot in the middle (like the filling of an Oreo only slightly warmer and less gooey) Starbucks.

Workout felt a bit like swimming in soup. Water was freezing - cold literally emanating off of the metal bulkheads. I didn't make the egregious mistake of putting my feet down in the middle of the pool until halfway through my warm-down, but I did notice the river of cold water in the middle very early on. Turns out the bottom of the pool is underground or very close to it, and the bottom of the pool drains directly into an underwater spring that runs straight to the Arctic Circle. I'm. Not. Kidding. Frrrrrreeeeeezing cold water...oddly cold. Make-you-think-something's-broken cold.

And a quick note on the "coach"....worthless. Note to self: a coach's job is to run the practice - not ogle the lifeguard and let the swimmers do whatever they want. Your job is to tell them when to go, keep track of what they're doing, pay attention to how they're swimming, and offer and tips, tricks or advice that comes up. Oh, and you're also supposed to at least halfway sound like you know what the hell you're talking about. You, my dear Trevor, are none of those things. I hate to complain, and really don't like complaining about people, but if I'm going to haul my ass halfway across the city on a Saturday morning, I want more pressure to come from the coach to make the intervals and do the work than from myself - we all know how dedicated I am prior to 9a....not at all.

Anyway, the workout was challenging. Tough intervals, my shoulder started aching early on but eased up through the meat of the workout. I managed to have a few lengths in there where I felt like I was actually swimming correctly, too. Also a few where I was unhinged and looking quite drunk, and one awful length where nothing lined up, but overall it felt fairly smooth. I know my turnover is still pretty long and slow - which bodes well for open water but not-so-good for shorter intervals. Hoping as I run more and bring the core strength back up I can also start pushing more water and going a bit faster. Already feeling the fatigued effects of swimming more - not a bad thing.

400 WU
300 K on Side
8x25 (hard/ez, ez/hard)
500 for Time (6:42 - yuk, semi effort on this though...lost count around 350 for awhile)
50 EZ
300 K (moderate)
4x50 on 1:15 K (hard)
3x200 on 3:15 (even pace)
3x200 on 3:00 (neg split)
3x200 on 2:45 (pull - yeah, right. I did 275s pulling for the first 2, 225 swim on last one)
450 CD
4150 Total

Yoga....and Margaritas

Friday was a girl's night! Yahoo....We all met at All People Yoga for Date Night Yoga...2 for 1. So I was Summer's date for a little while...I'm ok with it! We went through some serious yoga - Sun Salutations, Warriors, Pigeons, lots of breathing and in my case, sweating. It was a nice class and a great, relaxing way to end the week. It did involve some hard work and I had/have some sore spots (incl lower back, triceps, quads). I think we're planning on making date night a regular thing, so that could be a nice addition to the program. Being a little more bendy never hurt anyone, right?

I'm more concnerned with making El Torito, or wherever else we go, the regular part of the evening. The dinner with the girls, margaritas and further relaxation was even better. A reminder of why we all need friends - discussions like vag rejuvination (it's real - I swear - you think I could make something like that up??), height vs. length, and the quality of a good guacamole - always a great and worthwhile way to spend a Friday evening. And even some good, quality snorting by Patrick....who very generously paid for the whole endeavor. I think the entertainment factor that he got out of the experience was nothing short of magical. And we very well might have reaffirmed his committment to doctoring nothing "below the diaphragm." Cardiologists...what wimps!

Best: Friends.
Worst: Emotional sneak-attack at yoga.

Too damn cold to be cold....

My garage door forgot how to be a garage door this morning - Noah woke me up from a DEAD sleep and a GOOD dream at 7:50a (what the hell was I still doing asleep???) to try to figure it out....I stumbled out into the freezing garage in my bathrobe, and bunny slippers, hit the button a few times, couldn't figure it out and told him to leave - I would put contacts in, figure out which way was up and figure it out when I left....damn thing.

Took 20 minutes for me to figure out how to push the button and hold it down...it's friggin cold enough that the electrical connection doesn't know how to work, or something like that. The garage door opener is pissed at the world - it basically yells "F YOU" when I hit the button w/o holding it down while cussing and glaring....I think that makes the garage door opener WAY smarter than any of the rest of us.....it knows it doesn't want to open or go anywhere in the cold.

The high is supposed to be 7....it was -10 when I left. Supposed to be 30 tomorrow...that's a 40 degree swing, and STILL below freezing. Mom said yesterday this time of year she questions the sanity of anyone above the Mason-Dixon. I have to agree with her today....maybe they would let me just "telecommute" from about mid-December through early March...from ALABAMA. Whaddaya think Big Daddy Aon??

Best: Nothing yet.
Worst: Cold. F-ing Cold. Really f-ing darn cold.

Pounding the Pool

Freezing cold outside - semi-sluggish in pool. Shoulder achy towards end. Hot during 30min swim.

200 WU
12x50 on 1:00 (Odd K/S, Even D/S)
30 min. Sw (2150 yds)
200 CD

Sharing a lane w/Noah. Side-by-side during one of the 50's, happened to be breathing towards each other. Ab-so-freaking-lutely hilarious. I'm sure I look totally ridiculous when I breathe, but it's been so long since I've spied someone else while breathing that it took me almost 2 50's to calm down and not sputter, cough, laugh and try to keep swimming. Noah looks a bit like he's screaming bloody murder and flailing like a fish...just a snapshot visual....Hi.Lar.I.Ous. Poor guy.

I will say, on another positive note for Noah, that his swimming is night and day from where it was. He covered 1950yds during that 30min swim. That's about a 200yd gain over a 30min he did by himself about a month or so ago. The continual improvement in his confidence, abilities, mechanics and feel for the water is impressive. He may dog himself but he will be something to be reckoned with this summer. Just a bit more open water practice (and maybe some flip turns in the pool) and I may convince him to do a meet.....he'll be unstoppable. Now if only my running progressed in the same manner.....

Best: Watching friends succeed and improve.
Worst: Cold Pools

Prone Pike Press

Hell. The gift that just keeps on giving. My abs are to' up from the flo' up. I keep saying this is a good thing...I keep trying to convince myself. If I don't get my ass on a regular schedule it won't do any good though.

Must get consistent with core work & lifting. (Pre-req: must have Noah instruct on what the effective lifting "program" should be...) Must get my ass outta work and into gym/on road for Wednesday's tempo runs. Must add some cycling. OK if it's just trainer work for now - but must get butt on bike. Must eat regularly and with some semblance of health.

Weight is creeping back up. Sleep is creeping back down. Not a good balance this week. Extenuating circumstances yes. But still...come on Ware.

Best: dinner with the boys (Pizza, Dan & Noah) & playing with the dogs in the snow for awhile
Worst: Kevin & working until 7:15

My embattled industry...

Very few people understand how a car is built and how or why it runs, yet they insist upon driving - so why does it surprise us that they feel entitled to health insurance yet do nothing to understand how it works or why it costs?

I will fight tooth and nail to save my job and my industry because it really is in your best interest that we exist. We are not solely out to screw the public and swindle you out of your hard-earned money. We, as brokers, are trying to negotiate the best deals on your behalf, protect you from being swindled by the physicians and the insurance companies, and ensure that your company can still provide you insurance at the lowest possible cost for the highest possible return. And no, the insurance company is not the bad guy. It's not their fault that the majority of people happen to be fat, lazy and getting sicker. Yes, as you get sicker and incur more claims, your rates have to go up - you cost them more and there does need to be some profit to keep the company in business. I highly doubt that in your business you work for free, correct? It only happens to be hugely profitable because we as a public are hugely sick. The insurance company, believe it or not, is also negotiating the best deals on your behalf, often reducing the prices charged by doctors by about 30 - 50%, and that is why networks exist.

Wow, I can go on about this one for days. If anyone would like to know more, has any questions or wants to spar, just let me know. I can't promise to not get defensive - I'm not threatening your salary, please try to remember that - but I can promise to consider all opinions and educate in response to the best of my ability.

Much needed workout...

A fairly quick and painful 3 mile run followed by some of the most miserable core work I've ever done. I will say, however, that it was much needed. Getting out some unexpected emotion and engaging a little bit of pain. Being able to turn up the music, shut down my brain and just run through it, run it out and let go of it...that's why I'm an athlete, so I stay sane.

I managed to get 2.2 miles in before I accidently hit the "stop" button this time - it's a new record. I fluxed between a whopping 5.5mph and 6.0mph (though the plan calls for something like 11:15 miles...even I can't run that slow effectively). In the middle was experiencing a bit of IT band tightness, an ache that was getting slowly worse. I walked for about a minute (this is when the treadmill played the joke) and then resumed running. Felt fairly ok - aside from the fact that I was on a treadmill. I imagine the thing took about 32 - 35 minutes total but I really have no clue.

Let me give you a heads-up on the world - if you ever, EVER hear a PT say "Prone Pike Press" you should run, very fast, very far and in the opposite direction of the sadist bastard. It's this evil thing involving a Swiss Ball (that you roll onto looking only slightly like a beached whale) until your shins are on the thing and you're in a push-up position. You then Pike upwards, bending at the waist, until only your damn toes are on the ball. Breath, Wash, Rinse, Repeat. x10. Evil, Evil Bastard. Cuss a few more times and then do 3 sets. Clearly it's important to control the motion, and to not let your butt/back go past parallel with the floor. What they don't tell you is that your biceps will feel like jelly, you'll forget how to breathe and you'll have to engage every single muscle you don't realize you have to keep your self from face-planting. I'm also willing to guarantee some almost-handstands completely by accident. I figure this might be a teensy bit easier with feet more than a half centimeter apart - but I'm not that smart. Oh, and if you're feeling extra-special, throw in 3 sets of planks on bosu balls for 1 min. each.

Evil, sadist, masochistic, ridiculous roommate bastard. Tomorrow's swim practice could be interesting, to say the least.

Suicide Sucks

A lot of crap.

I don't understand suicide. It's just not a good answer. It leaves people angry and confused and guilt-ridden. It's not like there's anything more we (the left behind) could have done, but that doesn't stop us from asking. It's not like he couldn't ask for help, and any one of us would have jumped at the opportunity help - even if it was only to listen. It's not like there's any way we can get answers, even if he was still here to ask. No, we're left with our questions, our sadness, and a much poorer world without Kevin Gfell.

Most people leave impressions upon me, be them good or bad. Many people disappoint me at some point, but I am not a hard preson to impress. Doing the right thing, driving yourself to achieve and succeed, being a good person, doing things on their own, expecting more and better from those around you - those are impressive things to me. He was all of those. Just selfish enough to get done what he wanted to do, but unselfish enough (apparently too much so) to not burden anyone else with his issues or problems. I very much wish I had been, and had thought many times that I should be closer to Gfell. He was doing the things that I want to do - being the successful lawyer, being athletic and still enjoying friends and life. Being actively involved in the alumni for the house, expecting and driving others to acheive better and do more, while succeeding and driving within himself for the same, we're left to wonder now what was missing and what we missed.

It does no good for us to wonder what we could have done, what we missed and how we could have helped. We don't get the opportunity to change anything to make the difference. We are left with a hole that was Kevin and Kevin's laugh and Kevin's sarcasm and Kevin's personality. Kevin took that away from us. But, like it does us no good to wonder, it also does us no good to blame and be angry. I've been told that's where I'll wind up, but I don't think I want that. It's nice to be able to blame Kevin but at the end of the day the rest of us are losers in this game, too.

We've all had the fleeting thought during a really bad day or bad time in our lives; the thought that the world would be better off without us or that it would make so many lives easier if we were just gone. It doesn't. It won't. It never, ever will. It's the easy way out. It takes more guts to ask for help and to talk about your issues.

I can't lie, I thought about it, I spent some time considering. I had a good portion of my life and identity ripped away from me involuntarily with Rohypnol and the Dollar Inn. I was abandoned by the people I was counting on the most both before the assault and after. It's pointless to blame now, because I got through it, but I did learn the depths of my own strength and that asking for help is ok. If given the opportunity now, I wouldn't change the course of events or the outcome. I'm a better person for it but I learned a lot about the low parts of life. I don't understand how something can be so overwhelming, but I wasn't there, my situation wasn't his and I'm not him. I still wish we could have done more for him and I wish we had been given the opportunity.

I'm especially angry that the lecherous scum of society that gets to live with no apparent worries or problems - while the good people of the world are shouldered with such burdens that they see suicide as an answer. Our society must be that twisted that it really is harder to do the right thing, to be a community, to be leaders and to be successful and dependable, than it is to be a total waste. That, I believe, is what's really making me angry. Dan arrests some woman who gets so drunk she pisses herself and is incoherent - fully intending to drive her car as soon as she wakes up from being passed out in the bar parking lot - and she has to go to the hospital to make sure she's ok enough even friggin go to jail where she sleeps warm and alive....and this one guy who is a lawyer, an athlete, a good son and a good friend feels like a failure and feels too much pressure and ends his own life in his own house, cold and alone. Where, I ask, is the fairness in that?

Maybe I will wind up angry at Gfell, maybe I'll just be sad. I'd like to get to the point where I'm glad to have known him and to have had the memories I do because of him and simply look past this part. I'm not there today. Today I'm confused and hurt and a bit angry - at him and the world. And they got my drink wrong at Starbucks, again. I could make jokes about that, but I'll just choose to put a little bit of my frustration there.....for now.

If you're having trouble, ask for help, no one will think less of you for it. Problems are problems, we all have them, we've all been in some pain at some part in our lives. We are no better for having gotten through it and we owe it to the rest of the world to help when someone else is there. That's what being good brothers and sisters is about. Loving enough to care, loving enough to ask for help, loving enough to help when asked.

Ice Skating x2

So yesterday started with a nice 6.3mi run at a domestic 10min pace. We actually started out around 9:30s or so....but then we started running on ice, and since I was running further than I've run in a couple of months I figured walk breaks might be a good idea.

I woke up to the end of the rain dying out to a drizzle. Temp around 35 degrees with a little breeze. I tried valiantly to weasel out of the run to no avail. We ran on the Monon, so a nice fairly flat surface. There were spots where a light sheen of ice was over the trail, so we wound up taking a lot of it pretty easy. I spent a lot of time looking like Wylie E Coyote - my feet were doing the running thing but I wasn't really going anywhere. I can say that running on ice is a fairly good exercise in high recovery....your foot shoots off the ice and almost up to your butt. Anyway, with just a light mist in the air - it wasn't a bad run. Just a learning experience, not too painful and no falls.

I've definitely felt better when running before...my chest was a bit tight and my legs got pretty tired. Mostly just getting back into it I think, and probably running a bit off of my comfort form...but not too bad altogether. I was fairly damp when I got done, something I hadn't really noticed. It took about an hour to warm up. But no problems overall.

Went ice skating last night with Tanya and her kids...hilarious. I didn't fall, despite the kid's best efforts, they learned a quick lesson from Sir Newton. Gravity + Laws of Motion = I'm heavier and stronger than the 12 and 8 year olds. (Insert evil laugh here) But it was much fun and I survived - only some slightly sore shoulders today from the occasional panicked flailing.

I'm hoping today to either spend some time on the bike or maybe dip in the pool for awhile. But I will settle for cleaning the house and taking down Christmas decorations....

Silverman. Done. My reward & my memory.

I can survive anything I put my mind to surviving & I can do it on my own power. This is my reminder of that. From where I started to what I've been through & what I've accomplished - it was mine, it is mine.

My slogan for 2009....

DON'T JUST BE A PASSENGER - DRIVE THE BUS!

There are many things that have to be slightly (or drastically) different for 2009. I can no longer be a passenger in my life and work off of other's schedules constantly. I own my life and my goals. I am in charge and must take that ownership and drive the bus in order to be satisfied with my performance in the pool, at work, on my bike and running, not to mention at my house and in my relationship.

The whole world doesn't revolve around me, but I've got to do certain things in order to survive and achieve and the rest of the world will be much happier if I stay sane.....right?

Swimming like a rock...

Second Master's Practice tonight. Felt a bit like a rock swimming. Left shoulder was a bit achy, turnover slow, just kind of felt slow all around but I suppose that's a good thing. Still turning in decent times, stroke still needs some tweaking. I'm loping a bit - extending more on my right side. Still a bit weak on the full rotation, trying to work in some conscious effort towards that during WU/CD and anything easy. Need to fully extend left arm all the way again and work on "over the barrel" catch. Also have something funky going on with breathing, think I'm gasping a bit - or have an overabundance of snot....also remembered how much I hate kicking....but that's another story. Weaknesses are such for a reason....

Workout was really odd - another fairly low distance day with much time spent sprinting. That's annoying, as this time of year I think "base building"....but I guess my swimming base is somewhat intact and I keep being reminded of the larger plan. I'm just going to go with the flow. Any swimming done on my own can be long and boring.....

1x300 on 5:00 - Moderate (warm-up was supposed to be earlier....but this was my WU)
4x50 on :50 - Fast
4x50 on :45 - Faster (Still plenty of time on the intervals, turnover felt really slow)
4x50 on :40 - Fastest (3 - 5 sec. rest. Solid effort. Dying whale)
1x50 on 2:00 - Recovery
4x225

• 50 K on 1:10,
• 50 K on 1:10 - first 15yd Underwater,
• 2x25 on :40 6-beat drill,
• 3x25 on :40 - Desc. 1-2, 3 EZ

4x50 on :45 - Desc. 1-4
2x100 on 1:30 - Sprint
2x50 on 1:00 - Sprint Faster
1x100 Warm Down
2750 yds. Total

Snow, Slush & Stupids

There should be a requirement when taking driving tests...no one should be allowed to get their license in the summer. It should at least be raining cats and dogs, preferably snowing, slick or possibly slick in order to actually qualify people to be able to drive in this crap-type weather. None of the idiots that drive way too fast, and none of the idiots that drive excruciatingly slow should be allowed to do anything but walk or catch rides this time of year. Or at least get the hell out of my way. It's taken me 1:40 and 1:20 to get to work yesterday and today. It SHOULD be a :45 drive. For the most part - IT'S STRAIGHT ROAD. Just what the hell do you intend to (or think you're going to) hit when you DON'T HAVE TO STEER? Sure, braking can be challenging, but here's a quick clue there - you're brakes are working on your wheels, not the road. If you don't slam your brakes on, you probably won't start sliding.

Drive like an idiot, deserve hitting or being hit - whichever comes first.

Hmm...

Tonight was my first master's swim practice. First time I've swam a structured workout with someone standing on-deck watching in almost 10 years. Even if there were only 4 of us, swimming something someone else came up with on intervals felt nice. And we really didn't slack off in the middle anywhere. And I suppose my times were decent. To others, they're envious. But I have trouble forgetting where I used to be (and how long ago that actually was). My PR 50yd was a low :27, 100yd time was a 57.2. My 200PR was a 2:05. 500yd was a 5:06 or 5:04 (can't remember which). So pulling in a 200yd all-out last night at 2:34 is a bit grating. But, I'm not 17 anymore, I'm not in the water everyday anymore. I should be proud of the fact that I can still rock that much out, without a start off the blocks and weird flip turns and 2 months of hardly any activity. I just don't like getting old. Ah well.....it was nice to rock a workout though, and felt good to have some structure. I'm going to shoot for being there at least once a week, twice would be ok, too. Maybe swim a meet at some point this year....maybe. If I ever swim further than 200yd in a practice, anyway.

200 WU
9x50 on 1:00 K/P/D
4x200 on 4:00 100%/Time -2:34,2:43,2:45,2:43
1x200 EZ on 4:00
1x200 on 5:00 100%/Time -2:39
1x200 EZ on 4:00
1x100 on 3:00 100%/Time -1:15.3
1x200 EZ on 4:00
1x50 on 1:00 100%/Time -35.6
1x200 EZ on 4:00
8x50 on 1:00 D/S
1x200 CD
3200 total (1150 max effort)

Form discombobulated, tired at end, sprint is pointless this time of year - good bookmark for now

Uggggggg....

So I ran about 4.44 outside on Friday...didn't have an entirely bad time, didn't feel that great though. That didn't really surprise me. It's been a long time since my body went from 60 to 0. Now I'm not trying to go 60 again....but about 20 would be nice. I know these are long, base miles, but I would really like to be able to get that LONG part in there.....3 - 4 miles is feeling kind of wimpy to me, especially at a 10+min pace.

Traipsed over to the gym tonight and was entertained by the "New Year's Resolutions" and some quality music. Put in an honest 43 minutes or so running...since I'm an idiot I wound up hitting "stop" about halfway through and had to guesstimate. We all know my math skills suck. I was about 3.3 - 3.8 total. Subtracting a bit of walking before and after for about 8 total....not too terribly bad. Did a bit of quick plank sets on my way out the door.

Best - the entertainment at the gym
Worst - going back to work - projects not done