Things people say when they think no one can hear...

So I just thought I'd throw this out there. People can be really venomous in general. I am not exempted from this, though I (usually) try to think at least once or twice before I say something. Things said in anger at the heat of the moment can be just plain cruel and do lasting damage. (Likewise to things said in pain or retaliation..) When you've had time to think about something, the chance to rise above and move onward, and you still choose to be hateful and venomous...well, I think there's something unnecessary about that.

To be fair, I started it originally, I admit that...about two years ago. To be even more honest, I DID reply to what was sent to me almost two years later. In said reply I clearly stated that was the end of it & I was done. I was merely stating what I was being told I couldn't say directly. The original message (mine) was totally unnecessary, but people I cared about were hurting and I believed (at the time) that something needed to be said from a peer's point of view - rather than just bashing and lectures coming from adults. Hindsight being what it is...it would do no good in the end, as my message wasn't well thought out and itself was just hateful and venomous. I had since very much forgotten about the incidents causing my reaction and that I even had the reaction. But being reproached with fangs bared (an acceptable response had it been somewhat rational OR closer to what actually happened) then I feltjustified in some sort of response.

I expected that there would, again, be retaliation. I was also hoping that the opportunity to rise above would be taken and prove me wrong in some of my judgement (yes, there is judgement...I am not even about to pretend that I don't judge people - whether that makes me honest about my own shortcomings or those of others I'm not sure..). I just didn't see others' need to reply - especially whilst including an accusation of me "dragging shit out." At the end of the day nothing was accomplished but to confirm and reinforce my own opinions. This makes me sad especially as it might've jeopardized some long-standing and very important relationships. (I've long been of the opinion that you choose who you call your family. What may be related by blood means little, it's those we choose to surround ourselves with and associate ourselves with that truly bring value to our lives.) If there is lasting damage to that I will be sad and remorseful, but it doesn't change my opinion. It does make me wish I had taken the high road when given the chance. I am human, though, and apparently just as prone to venom and malice.

I thought it potentially validating/humorous/insightful (inciteful?) to include some of the comments made towards me (unedited for punctuation, capitalization, spelling OR grammar) just for my own moments down the road....but for my own memories, I wanted to note some of the comments that were made to/about me. Whether justifying my own action, reminding myself the value of thought before action or just the petty reinforcement of my opinions....jury still outstanding.

you are seriously more pathetic that i made you out to be.

so since you put yourself in the position to get raped-are you a slut? hm think about that one?

u think ur so perfect and better than anyone else. no matter how bad i truly hate you(its honest,i do..bet ya couldnt tell,huh?)

which,wait..this isnt any of your business cause you are nothing to any of us.

but i have kids tot ake care of,something you probably will never have.