Off the grid...

I took a little bit of time last night & this morning for me (& partially for the rest of the world, too, but that's another story). I did something I totally wanted to do, but that was somewhat irresponsible. I even kinda planned this thing, though I didn't plan the thoroughness of it, nor did I really consider (nay, care) the consquences. I went totally off the grid for a number of hours.

I left in the middle of the night, didn't tell anyone where I was going (except the person living where I was going) & I hid. I listened to a little music, laughed a lot, sat/sprawled/soaked/sweated in a hot tub, watched some kittens, had a couple glasses of wine & by God I relaxed. I left the phones & the work & the dry cleaning & the mortgages & the house(s) & the job(s) in the car & I just let it all fall away for a few hours. (11...to be close) I had alarms set for 8:30, I turned them off. I woke up with a cat laying on my stomach purring & we played & cuddled for a little bit, then we went back to sleep. I was sleeping in the quietest house I've been in for a long time. No tvs, no radios, just a babbling little waterfall/pond & a kitten purring & some fans running. I snuggled in the morning sunshine on soft sheets & told the world to go to hell for awhile, I was taking care of myself & purring with the kitty.

I've paid for it dearly with the rest of my day - crashing back to reality with 5 voicemails (on the cell phones alone) 3 text messages & about 50 emails...when I got in the car, just from this morning. I'm exhausted (being up all night does that to you) & it'll probably take all weekend to get the food/sleep schedule back on track. But I'd do it again in a heartbeat.

I love the comfort that I experienced last night & this morning. I love being able to not worry for even just a little while. I loved not being responsible & the hardest decision being what wine we would drink. I love the huge laughter from being goofballs with the cat, the impressive sounds from a top-notch sound system, the relaxing comfort of steam with the moon & some of the stars that I haven't seen in awhile (hello, Orion...winter must be coming) & the confidence/reassurance that comes with a longstanding relationship. Yes, I will gladly do any of that again regardless of the consequences.

It's October 1st & I feel like I've missed most of this year. I feel like I've missed out on a lot of time that could've been fun. I've probably taken a few years off of my life with all the stress & worry. I'm surely at a loss as to what the next period of time will bring (see picture below) but if I can find nights/mornings like this one again as often as I need them then it will all work out.

I'm kinda still purring.