Nike Women's Marathon - 10/16/11

Funny how you don't realize you need something until it shows up, eh? I just got notification (literally, about 20min ago) that my group was selected in the random drawing to be part of the 2011 Nike Women's Marathon in San Francisco on Oct. 16, 2011. This is super exciting for a couple of reasons....1) they received over 20,000 entries for the drawing (counting each group as 1 entry) & only have about 12,000 slots, 2) none of us have run it before, 3) I'm not sure any of us have actually been running lately. Guess we should start?!

I got the email & just squealed like a girl. I'm so excited. This means so much more than a long weekend with a few girlfriends (& potentially one amazing boyfriend) to me. It's a chance to reclaim who I am. I know that sounds so much more philosophical & "bigger" than it should - it's just a run, right? But as I sit here, having WANTED to go run for the past three days & having either slept too late to do so or stayed at work too late to do so, it's clear to me that I need an honest-to-goodness catalyst, something to work towards to get my ass in gear. I'm clearly finding reasons/ways to avoid it myself. I want so badly to be in shape, to be able to pick up & go run a few miles with absolutely no problem, to swim a few miles at the drop of a hat or to think that 30mi is a short bike ride. The reality of my life right now is that none of those things even seems achievable. It's my own fault, I know this. I've allowed my balance to get entirely out of whack, my mentality to go totally to hell & to just let myself fall away from the things I've held dear. I look at the finishers medals & awards every time I leave my bedroom & they mean so very little to me right now. Looking at them makes me cringe because I'm so far from that person right now. And it's my own fault....even though I can throw a lot of blame around, I'm the one sitting on the couch, working too late, staring at the blackberry.....I'm the one that's CHOSEN to let it happen.

Guess if I want to haul my butt up & down the hills of San Fran on Oct. 16th & do more than whine that has to change, right? It's a good day. The day I got a reason to flip the bird to my job, my depression, my anxiety, my poor habits & poor excuses. Today I get to say I have a damn good reason to reclaim my mental acuity. I didn't realize how badly I needed an external motivator this time. But as I sit at this desk feeling so excited I could cry it's clear to me that it was very, very necessary this time. That makes me uncomfortable as someone who's always been self-motivated but whatever. There are a lot of things right now that aren't my "norm"....evolution of a person & all that crap I suppose.

But I've got a vacation to plan, a training plan to work out, logistics (& this thing will involve some logistics - runners from 3 different states) & fun to take a look at. And who knows what airport I'll be flying out of to get to this thing at that point..if all goes well it won't be CLE...(isn't THAT crazy to think about?!) Oh, today is a good day indeed.