New Directions

As if one solid year of turmoil, indecision & transition wasn't enough.....yeah?

I'm hopping back on the merry-go-round of relocation & job changes. This time I've initiated the process, I've made the call to find my own happiness & I'm making the calls on the job & how much it demands from my life. Somewhere around 6 months or so ago I made the decision to stop simply enduring what I was gonig through & letting my life live me. I consciously made the decision that I want to get married & have a family, that I want to settle in a little bit & start the next chapter of my life. I was reasonably certain that I had the person in my life that I wanted to do that with.

Enter:/Continue: unhappiness with job & surroundings, frustration with job searching & housing arrangements, work expectations & staff changes (somewhat unexpected) leaving responsibilities in the lurch (again), a never-ending circus of drama & arguments - either as a result of any of the factors above, our own creation or simply a lack of communication and/or misunderstanding. It's been a long summer. It's been hot, I've been unhealthy, there have been tears. I think that much has been obvious - whatever we want to title this chapter, this Cleveland "adventure" (read: debacle), I'm ready for it to be over.

I won't soon forget the pain I've endured (either self-inflicted or by sheer stupidity) or created. But I've made decisions & I'm moving forward. I've finally *FINALLY* gotten good news (albeit within 12 hours of bad news...pendulum) and I'm headed in the right direction. I'm leaving Cleveland.

I've gotten the job offer (verbally, anyway), I've got someone helping me look for a house, I have a small army helping me figure out logistics (without ANY progress...yet), I've discussed the offer, the ramifications, the attitudes & the rationales. I'm ready. While I'm sure it's right for me to be leaving Cleveland, I'm a smidge less sure that I'm headed for my "place". Given the relationship shake-up, I'm less sure than I've been in awhile about where that place should be. But hell, I might as well keep plowing forward. Why not Nashville? It's closER to home, the job could be awesome & interesting, there's a ton to do in the city & it's where He is so we might actually be able to give it a shot like normal people. There's going to be some changes & some attitude adjustments between now & then though. I will not tolerate stupidity & someone fucking with my future (again).

There's entirely too much to be done in the next 3 weeks for me to fathom. Resignations, realtors, rents, rental trucks, boxes, beds, furniture.....I can't even imagine doing it alone...but that's the hand I've been dealt (again). I'm going to lift my head, plow through & show the world it can be done (again). I'm already tired. At least this time I feel like I'm in charge of at least part of it...even if I'm not really sure what part yet.